Entries tagged as punishment
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Wednesday, August 29. 2012
One of those ideas is the punishment collar. Tia values his collar very highly, it's the equivalent of a wedding ring and - in his mind - any suggestion that I might remove it from his neck is tantamount to asking for a divorce. And this just flips the panic switch in his head, severely hindering his ability to respond rationally afterward.
It isn't that I want to take his collar away. But sometimes, as the Person In Charge, I NEED to be able to clearly communicate that his behavior is not acceptable to me. I need to be able to "ground" him (so to speak), to have some way of enforcing the point that I make the rules and if he's not following them to my satisfaction then he actually loses something.
In the discussion/aftermath of this latest quarrel it occurred to me - why not get him a second collar, a "punishment" collar to wear when he's REALLY pissed me off? It could even be something a little humiliating, something the pushes the boundaries of what I'd ordinarily ask him to wear. Something that makes him feel silly and humbled and might even provoke embarrassing questions from his coworkers. That way he neverever has to be "uncollared"...but I still am able to clearly impress on him, in a way that matters, that he's on my shit list until he mends his ways.
You might say the punishment collar is a way to communicate (without excessive anger & negativity) that this infraction is something he needs to take seriously. The other tactic we came up with this time is more a way to signal that an issue is a matter of dominance and submission, related to our roles as Mistress and owned slave.
Part of the problem we keep having is that this IS a real 24/7 Mistress-slave relationship. We both agree this means I'm in charge, I make the rules, and I have the final say in everything. But as a practical matter there are huge swathes of life where I can't actually be in direct control of Tia's actions. I sleep over often but we don't actually live together, so he's on his own a lot too. He has his vanilla job responsibilities and commitments to other people. And yes, sometimes that stuff gets in the way of his service to me.
It can be difficult for both of us, especially when the vanilla and D/s parts of our lives are so intermingled. And honestly, from my perspective even trying to keep them separate kind of misses the point: the fact that the "vanilla" and the "kink" are so thoroughly intermingled is what MAKES this real, 24/7 slavery. But still, there are times when I can see that my dissatisfaction has to do with protocol, me feeling like I'm not being treated with the ass-kissing deference that is my mistressly due.
Our agreement is that henceforth I will give a clear signal that this is a D/s matter (such as, for instance, making him kneel and kiss my feet) BEFORE airing whatever grievance I have. The hope is that this will enable him to get into a more obedient, submissive mindset and avoid triggering the kind of rebellious defensiveness that gets my goat up.
It's actually been several weeks since the fight that spawned this post. I've not found a 'punishment collar' yet but I've used the D/s signal tactic several times and I feel like things are better. Like I'm a happier *MISTRESS*. So..we go forth in hope.
Saturday, June 9. 2012
Aren’t you so pleased I removed your Macho facade pet …
We now have the real you …
One who is a Sweetie … One who does as he is told …
Now tell me just how much you like your world controlled by me …
Ohhh last night saw my own wonderful Mistress taking my own 'macho facade' away from me, dressing me in a pink corset, garters, fishnet stockings, silk gloves and high heels.
This was not done for my pleasure, Mistress told me. And in fact had me masturbate rather early in the proceedings '..just to get it out of the way', before an evening or worshiping her feet in sexy high heels and getting intensely spanked, to punish me for straying from my path as her slave and to remind me who is, in fact in control here.
Its Her. Its most definitely Her. I felt just like the illustration above, helpless in his Mistress's arms, all manly pretense taken away. My true self revealed as her obedient sissy slave.
Thank you Mistress. Thank you for loving me, thank you for keeping me, thank you for putting me back in my rightful place at your feet.
And thank you for staying by my side during these rough times. I love you so.
Wednesday, February 9. 2011
Interestingly (to me anyway) my desire to restrict his access to that bit of flesh does NOT come from a desire to control his masturbation/orgasms. I already feel pretty fully in control of those. But I'm getting more and more...irritated...when I glance over and see him idly, unconsciously touching himself in the way guys do. I find myself wanting to restrict that kind of casual, unconscious touching.
And yeah, I admit I also relish the idea of teasing him to arousal, knowing that getting an erection will be impossible and/or painful. *evilsmirk*
Thinking about this made me think of the promo clip of Goddess Starla of FemdomBride.com locking her sissy husband randy up in his first chastity device. But alas, I already used that in a previous entry here. So today instead here's a little promo video of Starla beating the cock and balls of slave randy in his new chastity device. Another activity I'm sure tia will have to get used to eventually. ;-D
p.s. I'm pretty sure the chastity device Starla is using on randy in this scene is the same one I have in mind to put tia in!
Saturday, October 16. 2010
The essence of the system is simple: whenever tia does or says anything that I deem to be "smart assed", he's obliged to add a mark to the tally he keeps in his punishment journal.
(The punishment journal deserves explanation too but that'll have to wait for another day!)
Every so often - which works out to a couple times a month - I beat my sissy slave, giving him one stroke of whatever the chosen torture is for each mark. And in a deliciously evil refinement, tia also gets marks added to his tally when OTHER people say/do smart ass things.
Izzy takes gleeful advantage of this at every opportunity. ;-D
A canny person might have pointed out long ago that this scheme does little to discourage tia's smart-ass commentary on life. Indeed these "penalties" do quite the opposite: they serve as a structured way to guarantee kinky play in our lives. I know with utter certainty that tia will be a smart ass, and therefore there'll ALWAYS be a reason to "punish" him. And being who we are things like spankings, CBT and bondage add up to a really good time.
So yeah, in a literal sense these "punishments" are not punishments at all. But in a larger sense they DO serve the purpose of putting him in his place. They remind him, in that visceral endorphin-induced way, that he is my OWNED SLAVE, here for my entertainment and pleasure.
In fact, in a way they keep both of us in our place. Even the act of keeping track is an exercise in dominance. Informing him when he's to add another mark to his tally, teasing him about his propensity to BE smart-assed when he knows perfectly well he'll be punished for it, playing games of "let's see how many tally marks tia can rack up tonight" are the sort of small, everyday power-play exchanges that our 24/7 Mistress/slave relationship is made of.
Friday, October 8. 2010
Friday, October 1. 2010
Tuesday, September 21. 2010
I have to admit it's pretty hot, in that slickly-professional big porn company kind of way. I love the bit where they have him bound to the light table with the saran wrap and are taking turns fucking & flogging him. And I'd LOVE to see more Mad Femdom Scientist movies. Wouldn't you?
Of course MY version would be different. For one thing, the women would not be skinny porn model types. (Though to be fair these Kink.com Ladies are more realistically sized & shaped than the average porn starlet.) And draining him of his sperm to use in reproduction? Forget that! I have ZERO sexual fantasies that involve me winding up with more kids/housework, lol!
No, I would be doing some kind of genetic engineering/nanotechnology thing...maybe altering his jizz to be gourmet chocolate-flavored...or no, I know, make it into a euphoria-inducing drug I could sell on the black market...
Um, yeah, my mind IS like this all the time. ;-D