The Silken Trap - real life

Accepting my inner slut

nospam@example.com (slave tia) — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 08:31:49 -0600

Ohhh last night....

Last night Mistress & Sir came over for 'movie night'. I was dressed for the occasion in nothing but pink thong panties, thigh high pink fishnets, and high heels. I had shaved my body totally smooth earlier, so I was already feeling very sexy and slutty and submissive when Mistress ordered me to get on my knees in front of her husband and remove his clothes with my teeth.

It was awkward and humiliating...just like Mistress likes it for me, but soon he was naked from the waist down and I was kissing my way up his legs, soon kissing, sucking and worshipping his cock, licking up and down the shaft, taking it as deep as I could...

And while I have done this act before, with him, and with others--this time was different...I dont know how to describe it. It felt right. More right than ever before. The natural kneejerk "this is alien!" feeling I get at first when I am engaged in forced bi play did not occur. I'm usually a bit more reluctant, hung up on my own inhibitions.

But it just felt so right...so natural for me. I wasnt even fully feminized...no wig or makeup, just thong panties, fishnets and heels. But I felt so sexy and slutty and feeling feminized in my mind that I felt myself melt into slutty obedience.

Everytime Sir played with one of my nipples, or ran a hand over my cockette in my panties, or rubbed it with his leg as I sucked his cock I melted at the the touch and revelled in the slutty pleasure I was feeling. It was like the door of all my inhibitions and shyness and reluctance was not only opened, it was knocked down entirely!

I still gagged a bit and felt like I was choking when Mistress insisted I suck it deeper into my throat, and pushed my head down onto his cock. T'm thankful I didnt throw up, as I feared I would from the gag reflex. But I was doing such a good job sucking his cock that I got him to cum inside my mouth--way before Mistress was ready, as she had gone out of the room to get her strap-on.

She lubed me up and fucked me anyway, on my knees, her husband's cock still in my mouth...a sissy sextoy to both of them....mmmmm...

Thats all I ever want to be..

Lordy, Lordy, Look Who's Forty!

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 17:17:17 -0700

When we arrived in our room the first thing I did was order tia to strip and kneel so I could fasten the leather training collar (the very same one I led him in to Petsmart to choose four years ago) around his neck.

Then the next thing I did was make him put his clothes BACK on so he could go out and fetch the ice I forgot! :p

After he'd returned, and executed the prime directive of making me a drink (with plenty of ice), I ordered him to strip once more. The chastity device went on next and then my clothes came off. I was eager to try out that jacuzzi tub! I soaked in the tub while the birthday slut prepared his anal fuckhole with multiple enemas. Accompanied by much mockery and amusement from me of course. At last I stepped out of the tub and my freshly-cleansed slave was allowed to dry me off, Princess Ardala style.

We adjourned to the next room, where there was more light, and I had my sissy kneel at my feet so I could do her makeup. While we were thus engaged our friends Mistress Candice and her girl emma knocked on the door. They'd just arrived, having driven down from Jacksonville for the occasion, and I invited them in for a quick chat despite tia's embarrassed nakedness.

After catching up a bit the ladies left to go freshen up themselves, and I recommenced with my pretty pet's feminine transformation. I dressed her in a stretchy pink fishnet top that left her nipples exposed for me to play with, tiny grey thong panties trimmed with rainbow details that framed her ass so sweetly, and finally pale pink thigh-high socks to set off her sexy, curvy legs. The finishing touch was her wig of soft blonde curls and voila, my sexy shemale lover knelt trembling before me.

I'd been fielding text messages & emails from various people throughout the afternoon; many of our prospective guests sent their regrets at the last minute. But two solo crossdressing girls, Stephanie and Aida, were still coming. Stephanie showed up shortly after I'd got tia dressed and while the birthday slave fixed drinks for everyone she and I commenced the first round of 'Truth or Dare'. Within the first few minutes of the game my smart-assed slut had managed to earn two penalties: the first administered in the form of a swift blow to the right buttock with a large wooden spoon, and the second being the forceful insertion of a small dildo (the one we call 'fairy') into her tight ass.

Soon all the guests were assembled, my good little sissy had fetched drinks for everybody, and we were laughing through more rounds of 'Truth or Dare'. One girl's skirt was raised to give us all a good look at her CB-3000 chastity device...another was ordered to crawl around and kiss everyone's feet...a number of titillating confessions were made...and eventually tia wound up on my lap, demonstrating her stripper moves. Which was made that much more interesting by my simultaneously trying on a new thigh-harness loaded with her favorite dildo, which shall henceforth be called Prince Charming. She put on a good show, at least from my perspective, and pictures were taken.

The rounds of the game continued and somewhere along the way emma lost her clothes. (And tia lost her chastity cage.) We all watched as emma's Mistress led her over, naked and crawling on a leash, to render some oral service to a very excited Stephanie. I pulled out my cellphone and snapped some pics at Candice & Stephanie's request but I was soon distracted by groping and molesting my own sexy slavegirl.

Alas Stephanie had to leave early, so I announced it was time for the birthday spankings. Since she had to go soon Stephanie went first, administering eight sensual bare-handed smacks to my pet's thong-framed bottom. Well, I say eight - it was actually more due to my foolish slave having forgotten to keep count. Stephanie also went second, lying across my lap herself and taking a matching set of eight smacks on her own bare bottom from me. Emma declined to be a swatter and so her share of eight blows was split between myself and Mistress Candice, who went next.

Ms. Candice is an old school ass-kicking kind of domme, well known for the intensity of her pain play, so I knew the next dozen blows would be rough on my fragile darling. Therefore I decided to sweeten the experience - and muffle the noise! - by wrapping my strong curvy legs around tia's head, pressing her shrieking mouth into my crotch and smothering her between my soft thighs. I'm not sure whether it helped my little sissy to bear the pain of having Ms Candice wield the hated red leather slapper on her ass, but I certainly enjoyed the experience of having her crying into my pantied crotch.

At last it was MY turn. Aida had ceded her share of the spankings to me so I now had 20 swats to deliver. I'd opted to use the relatively tame black leather paddle with the fluffy sheepskin on one side but I decided to liven things up by inserting Prince Charming into tia's rectum before I started. (The smaller fairy dildo, which I'd stuck in her earlier as a smart-ass penalty, had been removed after about 20 minutes.) I then proceeded to dole out my 20 swats, taking care to aim the paddle to precisely hit the end of the dildo sticking out of her ass. I even got in a few swats with the handle of the paddle, turned so as to strike down on her dangling testicles as it pushed the dildo sharply into her. All in all she was not so much being spanked as being raped with the paddle. *evilgrin*

For the most part during this paddling I knelt beside her on the bed. But at one point I had tia pinned down, with my leg draped across her back and shoulders and my foot pressing her face into the bed. Sadly my damned hip wouldn't let me hold that position for long, and by the time I'd finished administering tia's 40th birthday spanking I was ready to give that injured joint a rest. I might normally, at this point, leave her kneeling on the bed and bugger her from behind. Instead I laid down on my back and ordered her to climb on top of me and ride me cowgirl style.

Being made to perform like the sluttiest porn whore, ride a cock and cum from it in front of a room full of observers, might not have been on tia's bucket list. But making her do it has certainly been on mine! It was so hot to have my beautiful shemale fucktoy moving on top of me, writhing and moaning as I groped her body and murmured nasty things to her. I reminded her that she'd need to be able to do this for her boyfriend someday, and for any other men I decided to give her to. She'd need to be able to bounce and grind on their dicks, doing all the work for them and convincing them that she was desperate to have every inch inside her. Convincing them that she was as horny as a bitch in heat and wanted nothing more than to have her fuckholes stuffed any way they wanted to give it to her. Which shouldn't be hard considering that she really was a horny little slut desperate to get fucked, I mean, look at how she was performing right now in front of her birthday party guests...

I kept it up for a little while, I'm not sure how long, before I ordered her to cum for me. She exploded with shuddering groans that turned to whimpers as I reached down into her panties and peeled off the condom which had captured her spurting cream. She grimaced, but obediently opened her mouth and sucked down every drop.

The party broke up not long afterward and I think we were both quite happy to fall into bed. But the next morning I could not stop thinking of how beautiful she'd looked moving on top of me...and how much I wanted to have her like that again. Something about not just forcing her to submit to getting fucked but forcing her to actually DO the fucking was incredibly hot. It shows how much of a slave she's become, how much her training has taken hold, that she not only CAN do these things and WILL do them, but that she literally gets off on doing them. I remember the days when my putting anything in her ass was an instant erection killer...now here she is begging to be buggered all the time!

So early on, before either of us was dressed or had eaten or anything, I put Prince Charming in my usual harness and slipped it on. I laid back in the bed and once again ordered her to climb on top of me. I made her rub against it, comparing her dainty cockette to its length and girth. Then I made her squirt a glob of lube on the end and rub my plastic phallus up and down the crack of her ass. I pulled her head down to kiss her and growl a few more lewd comments about the previous night in her ear. By now she was whimpering and squirming, and that cockette was throbbingly hard between our bodies. I knew she wanted me inside her, knew she wanted to be fucked again...and I laughed as I pushed her off me and ordered her to put her boy clothes on and go procure some breakfast.

By the time she came back I was dozing off again and I wanted to stay asleep for a while. So I told her to go have a shower, fetch more ice and pack up our things while I slept. About an hour and a half later I woke again and as I stretched and yawned my attentive pet offered me a fresh drink and some fruit she'd brought me from the hotel buffet. I ate a banana then got up and rummaged around in our bags for a couple minutes. Tossing some sheer ruffled panties, a pair of breastforms, and a pink satin bra at her, I ordered "put these on bitch". I think she must have gotten instantly hard; certainly that little cockette was sticking straight out again as soon as she pulled her panties up over it. The blonde wig came next (no time for makeup alas) followed by the leather training collar she'd taken off before showering, and a fresh condom. Just a matter of moments and there was my horny shemale sex slave standing before me once more.

I loaded Prince Charming back into the thigh harness and climbed back into bed. Once again I ordered her to get on top of me; this time I spent only a few moments groping her before I ordered her to reach around and guide my cock into her hungry fuckhole. I felt her muscles twitching around the dildo, the movement transmitted to my skin by the silicone shaft, and she moaned as it sank deeper into her. When my strapon was firmly implanted in her twitching anus she began to hump against my leg. I stilled her movements and adjusted our positions so that she was straddling my left thigh (the one with the harness) and her own left thigh was held between my legs. As she resumed humping back against me I reached down between my own legs and started rubbing my clit. I talked to her, telling her how beautifully slutty she was and describing the ways in which I and others might want to make use of that slutty body in the future. She was soon whimpering and shaking, her eyes rolled back in her head and wearing that unmistakeable look of being a hair's breadth from orgasm. "Do you want to cum slut? Beg me for it!" I purred and without hesitation a torrent of words tumbled out "please Mistress please your horny sissy slut wants to cum so bad please Mistress I'll do anything please.." I laughed "of course you will slave. And now you're going to cum for me. Cum from being fucked like a girl, cum like you did in front of all our guests last night." And cum she did, blushing bright red while she once more filled a condom full of her sissy cream.

I gave her a little shove and she collapsed on the bed beside me, the dildo sliding out of her ass with a tiny, wet plop. I unfastened it from my thigh and dropped it to the floor, then reached for one more toy - the ever faithful gizmo. Sliding the cum-filled condom off her wilting cockette, I drizzled its contents all over the gag side of our gag-mounted dildo toy and pushed it into her mouth. She grimaced at the taste but obediently lowered her head, allowing me to buckle it firmly in place. The, grabbing the dildo which now stuck straight out from her face, I guided her down between my things and into my sopping wet pussy.

I'd had a very small orgasm the night before when she was riding me; I was more than ready for a proper release of my own. And when it came it was magnificent, explosive waves of pleasure crashing through my body and washing away (for the moment anyhow) all the pain of my injured hip. It felt so good I almost cried afterward. Funny how something so simple can instantly make life brighter & sweeter. No matter how bad I might be hurting I could still wallow in the hedonistic pleasures of the flesh with my beautiful birthday girl.

I've mentioned a couple of times in this account that I'm not in top form. Shortly before xmas I did something to my hip which has kept me in more or less constant pain ever since. In retrospect I probably shouldn't have even tried to host a party in my condition; I suppose I thought it would surely be healed up by the time February rolled around. Anyway, the end result was that this party was a lot tamer than I'd meant it to be. Now, writing this, I can see that the x-rated action which did take place would have been wildest-fantasy material for a lot of sissies. Which I guess says something about what a lucky sissy slut tia really is.

Tonight's the Night

nospam@example.com (slave tia) — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 06:04:08 -0700

Tonight's the night!

Mistress has been teasing me about it for weeks now, I still can't believe this is actually happening. My imagination has been running wild with sissy fantasies and daydreams almost nonstop, making it next to impossible to concentrate on anything else.

I don't know how the reality will compare to what I've fantasized...on the one hand Mistress is capable of anything, on the other she is very protective of me (and I love her for it) but may also underestimate how far she can push me over the edge and down that rabbit hole.

And, well, I also know how much the universe likes to disappoint me in life. I've learned not to let my hopes get up high about anything if I can help it. So I am...cautiously optimistic. Trying not to let my little daydreams and fantasies run away with me in case the reality doesn't quite measure up.

From my perspective the most delicious thing is that I truly do not know. It simply isn't up to me. I knelt before Her just over 4 years ago now, and gave myself to Her body heart and soul. I'm not 'topping from the bottom' with a vanilla gf/wife who is just trying to humor me. No, I really do belong to Her, the most exciting Woman I have ever known and she is just as eager to dominate me as I am to be dominated.

Thank you Mistress. No matter what happens tonight, I think I've already been given a precious gift. I've just had it for a little while now.

*soft sappy smile*

Sappy Anniversary

nospam@example.com (slave tia) — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 07:24:43 -0700

Four years ago today, after being Her submissive for just over a month, Mistress presented me with my 'training collar' as she called it.

In one way or another its never been off since, and the 'training collar' became my collar, although we have not had a formal ceremony as of yet to mark the occasion.

The leather collar now-days is reserved for formal occasions or intense play. I wear a chain around my neck at all times instead. But its always around my heart.

Even during the worst of times. We've had a lot of ups and downs over four years...especially 2012, where thanks to problems at my job (which continue to this day) and the crappy economy, we had to give up the house which was her studio and my home. So much tears and hurt...but it is outweighed by far, by the love and joy in our lives.

It is our bedrock. We've weathered the storms of finances and bad luck and ill health and all the slings and arrows this world throws our way so far.

And I am still madly, deeply in love with this powerful, beautiful, intelligent and funny woman, and I am still in awe of the depth of her loving, caring heart. I am truly blessed to be loved by her, and made a part of her family with her lovely sweet husband who has welcomed me into their lives.

(Thank you Sir. I know it wasn't easy. XXX)

There are times when I've been at a low point, especially in this past year where I have examined and reexamined my life and didn't like what I saw. I'm about to turn 40, unmarried and childless. Not that I ever wanted kids but at this point in a man's life its What is Expected. Still dirt poor at the bottom rung of my chosen career and not going anywhere anytime soon.

But those dark thoughts pass. They always do. Because I am the loved and collared slave of Mistress Erisiana Cherie.

Life doesn't suck.

Happy Anniversary Mistress. I love you so.

Thank you for bringing me into your life.

The Perfect Cure for a Mid-Life Crisis

nospam@example.com (slave tia) — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 06:59:43 -0700

In two weeks I turn 40.

Now, normally, in the otherwise normal course of events this would probably lead to me going all angsty and doing the whole mid-life crisis thing about going over the hill and its all downhill from here and what have I done with my life etc etc yada yada yada.

But it also means something else.

It means Mistress is throwing me a birthday party.

Exhibit A. This is what happened last year.

Exhibit B. Mistress has posted the following to Fetlife and possibly a few other places recently:

It's my slave tia's (Jesterslave here on Fetlife) 40th birthday and I mean to make one of his wildest dreams come true by hosting a sissy slumber party. If you're a dominant woman (trans or cis), submissive sissy, or femdom couple I'd love to welcome you for a night of unforgettable fun.

The party will be held on Feb 8th at a local (St Pete) hotel. Exact location info will be shared with attendees via more private channels.

There will be munchies and games, and of course space for you to change into your feminine frills. (I may be able to provide clothes etc for those that don't have their own; please inquire in advance if you need this.) But be aware - this is NOT your average kink scene meet & greet. I prefer to skip the small talk and jump straight to the naughty business! ;D

Oh. My. God.

Mistress has also told me that she has indeed received several responses from a few other Femdom-sissy couples, about 4-5 other sissies, and 1-2 dominant Tgirls.

Oh. My. God. *shivers*

The possibilities....even if only half of those people turn up...my god...

Its been kind of difficult as I'm sure you can imagine to think about mid-life crisis stuff. As well as think about anything else really, for that matter. No more concentrating on work or reading a book or what's on TV for me, no sir, my mind is filled with the most erotic sissy dreams instead...ohhhhhh the days are passing so slowly.

To quote the great Tim Curry, "I see you shiver with antici..........................pation...."

You know what this means, don't you?

It means I need to figure out how to have more than one birthday a year. ;p

More to come/cum, obviously....lol......

(my god!)

You Don't Need a Weatherman to Know Which Way the Wind Blows

nospam@example.com (slave tia) — Sun, 28 Oct 2012 06:27:55 -0600

You Don't Need a Weatherman to Know Which Way the Wind Blows

I have a bit of a odd and kinky history that goes back a ways. I spent years searching for the right BDSM relationship--that long lonely search many male submissives undertake. My own journey seemed to be nothing but a long string of disappointments, one night stands, meeting and failing to click with people offline when it had seemed so promising online, or people who always seemed to have a story or a reason to avoid ever having to meet at all. The usual bs that comes with trying to meet people online.

Thank god I'm off of that bitter treadmill now. Meeting Mistress on Alt Com and becoming Her owned slave has...saved me from all of that. Made it all worthwhile.

Anyway...the strangest kink adventure in my life...It was about six years ago, just before moving to Florida and meeting Mistress. I had been returning to my kinky quest after several years of giving up, doing the personal ad sites and such. I had kind of given up on the idea of finding "The One", you know, a woman who would be interested in me romantically as well as a submissive. I had just been burned too many times, and my living situation at the time would have made that impossible to find anyway. So I was looking for couples who were interested in playing with a sissy slave. The idea had always been one of my favorite fantasies, and I reasoned I might be a pretty good catch---I could be a totally nonthreatening, non-demanding addition to a polygamous relationship. Both the Mistress and Master could feel safe that I would not upset or jeopardize their primary relationship in any way shape or form.

And that was what I looked for, and after while I began corresponding with this domme online. She was intelligent, witty, great sense of humor--seemingly exactly my 'type'. She was looking for a sissy slave to play with herself and her boyfriend.

There was a complication, however--isn't there always? The boyfriend was married to someone else, so this was a relationship on the side. So everything had to be hush-hush.

She made arrangements to meet me, a few miles from my apartment at my favorite Irish bar. Always a bit noisy and crowded, we could talk about whatever we liked without being overheard. She told me the BF might be able to join us, but this was really just a meeting between she and I so she could suss me out, see if we clicked, see if I could be trusted or not.

I remember seeing her and getting all excited....yes, she was exactly my type...that naughty but nerdy look, with glasses and a mischievous twinkle in her eye. Curves in all the right places, a bit overweight but not excessively so.

We talked pleasantly for probably a half hour or so. I'm sure I was shy and awkward--I always am when meeting someone. But apparently it wasn't a deal breaker because she told me that she liked me, that she saw some real possibility here. She was going to tell her BF that I was ok for him to meet and, surprise surprise, it was going to happen that very evening.

But first...could I keep a secret?

Of course, I said. You know my secrets...seen my pics...I'm trusting you with that stuff, you can trust me with yours.

She explained about her BF being married. That her relationship with him could not become public, that both she and him were known in their industry and so they had to really play it safe for their careers as well as his marriage.

What do you do then? I ask.

She tells me she's a columnist in the local alternative weekly newspaper--I had read her column before actually, and enjoyed it many a time. She tells me her BF is in the journalism field as well.

I'm really excited at this point. I tell her that's incredible, I'm in the same field (or trying to be) myself and I tell her who I work for and she recognizes it and she seems thoughtful for a second and tells me that she and he BF could really help me out in my career, that they had the contacts and connections to help get me to a better place.

This is seriously a dream come true at this point. My head was swimming, I'm telling myself to try to not let my hopes get up so high but at this point I'm thinking I might just have won the lottery in my kinky relationship quest and this is going to change my entire life for the better.

She gets a text and tells me her BF is about to arrive. "My boyfriend...you might recognize him. But please don't say anything."

I assure her I won't.

And then he comes in, and sits next to her with a big, familiar smile. Holy shit. I DO know this guy. Its the weatherman from Channel X.

And at this point I need to interject here: I'm not going to say what TV channel, or even what city he's from. While on the one hand I do not owe him or her anything now, a promise is still a promise. And he's still on the air, every weeknight at 6 and 11.

They hug and exchange secret smiles to each other and he asks her if I'm a good candidate to play with them. She tells him that I am, and she is really looking forward to playing with us both. There's no time like the present, he says. He only has a little bit before having to go back to the station to get ready for the 11 o'clock newscast. She grins at that, and orders me to get up and follow them outside to the parking lot.

I'm utterly utterly gobsmacked at this point, but I obey. Holy fuck.

We get inside his SUV towards the back of the parking lot, he gets in the backseat, I'm ordered to kneel on the floor next to him, she sits up front but within reaching distance of both him and I.

Kiss his crotch, she says. Meet your new Master.

I'm all gooey and submissive and feeling myself fall deep for both of them at this point...I'm not wearing a stitch of female clothes on me but my inner slavegirl just comes out and I just mellllt and soon enough I'm obediently unbuckling his pants and kissing and sucking his cock while her hands are in my hair forcing me on it while the two of them are kissing and holy shit i'm in a suv out in public in a parking lot and i'm sucking the cock of the weather guy from channel x!!!!

Flashing in my mind at this utterly bizarre and absurd moment was a quote from "Saving Private Ryan", of all things.

"Sergeant, we have crossed some strange boundary here. The world has taken a turn for the surreal.."

Now..I know TV weathermen, news anchors and so forth are not A or even B-level celebrities. They are C-level at best, known only at a local level and that to anyone outside of the broadcast area Mr. WeatherDom's real name would be meaningless. I'm still not going to reveal the name but I think you as the reader here of my sordid little tale, to best appreciate the topsy turvy state of mind I was in should try to imagine yourself in a parked car having carnal relations with your local celebrity weatherman within 15 minutes of meeting said celebrity after seeing the guy on TV for years telling you your day is going to be partly cloudy and mild.

Back to the scene....its so hot...one of the hottest experiences I've ever had... She plays with herself as they kiss, as her hands guide me on his cock...he cums in my mouth and I'm in such a state of shock it doesn't dawn on me til later that this too, is another first in my life and I was too far gone to even gag on it.

Everyone rests a few minutes....then he zips up, tells she and I how great that was, have to do it again soon and he's off to the station for his broadcast. She makes her goodbye as well, tells me how thrilled she was at my obedience and that we would be getting together again real soon.

I drive home, dazed, laughing out loud at the absurdity of it as well as the sheer delight of it! And I turn on Channel X's 11 o'clock news with his taste still on my lips and watch WeatherDom doing the 5-Day with that smile and and not a hint in his delivery that he had just had a sordid 3-way with his gf and their new male slave not more than 2 hours ago.

Life has taken a turn for the surreal. Yes indeedy.

I had one more encounter with them, not long after. Another really hot scene, where she had fully femmed me in my apartment and he had arrived and I got to serve them both en femme, this time fluffing him ready before he fucked her on my bed and getting to orally worship her to several orgasms after he had gone.

Things seemed perfect. She and I continued to talk online, on the phone, I felt as if things were only going to get better and better.

And one day, out of the blue, she just...stopped writing me back. Not even a goodbye or an explanation.

I was crushed. I agonized over what I might have done or said to have caused this. Did I say something wrong? Worse...did he find me so unappealing and ugly en femme that he had told her to break it off with me?

Its only now, years later that I can objectively add another possibility to what happened--that their relationship as BF-GF was broken off, or put on the shelf for a while because of his marriage and that I really wasn't rejected at all. Still...if that was the case...they should have told me.

In a way, maybe things happen for a reason after all. It was the heartbreak over this apparently-perfect kink-and-professional relationship going belly up without explanation that was the impetus behind my decision to say fuck it, my life in this city isnt going anywhere, my career will never advance here and I will never meet anyone, why not just up and move to Florida where I can at least be warm year round and goto the beach.

And so I did. Moved down in 2007 and in December of 2008 I met Mistress.

And she has made me Hers. And loves me, has kept me. Has shown no sign at all of wanting to ever let me go or just disappear on me as so many others have in my life. No, my career has never taken off and has even gotten worse than it did before and I've barely got two nickels to rub together but...with Mistress, none of that really matters. I'm happy, the happiest I have ever been.

I am the owned slave of Lady Erisiana Cherie. And I am content.

My magical mystery tour

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 08:31:17 -0600

This weekend my darling tia took me out for a day of surprises & hedonistic delights.

First stop was a spa, where he'd booked a massage for me and I was invited to choose any other treatments I cared to. I'm not typically real fond of surprises - or, for that matter, very easy TO surprise; I pay much too close of attention to what my menfolk are up to for them to sneak things by me - but he really got me with this one; I was completely not expecting it.

After that was a visit to a popular local pub for lunch (my choice of course) before taking in an exhibit of artifacts from the Titanic on display at the Mahaffey Theater. He's a Titanic buff & I'm keen on archaeology & social history so it was a nice overlap of our mutual interests. He was overjoyed by my squeal of delight when I realized our destination and I found his enjoyment of my pleasure to be very endearing.

Then it was back home to freshen up, which meant a nice little nap for me and an hour with permission to play xbox for him. After my nap I wasn't quite ready for dinner yet so I decided we needed some exercise...of the naughty variety. *grin* I spanked my slut a little, groping and fondling him as I had been throughout the day. He responds so quickly now that he's not been allowed an orgasm in a month and a half! I hadn't started out intending to do any more than that but after a few minutes of molesting him I decided I wanted to get off. So I ordered him to the bedroom, on his knees on the bed, hands behind his back - the proper position for me to lie on my back and use his cockette inside me as my personal dildo.

This is a favorite position for me; relaxed and comfortable, not having to "do all the work", with my hands free to caress my breasts & rub my clit, and with SUCH a nice view of his anguished face as I "ride" him, talking dirty to him and taking my pleasure while he tries desperately not to cum. *evilgrin*

(He knows better than to cum without permission, no matter HOW I'm using him - the last time he did it earned him a sentence of 3 months with no release!)

After I'd had my fill of orgasms it was time for dinner. We adjourned to my favorite steakhouse where I partook of lobster & filet mignon & enough cocktails to give me a tipsy glow that lasted through the rest of the evening. I've not had a full day of indulgence like this in ages and it was absolute bliss.

Thanks tia. You're a wonderful slave and I'm so glad you're mine!

Strapon Therapy

nospam@example.com (slave tia) — Sun, 07 Oct 2012 08:22:26 -0600

Its been a brutal last few weeks at work as my busy season hits its peak, working 6 days a week, 60+ hours a week or more. I haven't been able to spend much time with Mistress, and what time off I've had has been running errands and doing drudge chores and all of that other mundane day-to-day stuff that you do as a part of life. Add to that more than a bit of depression, and worry about how I am going to pay my bills and make ends meet when the season ends on November and I become once again almost-but-not-quite unemployed.

So my libido has been suffering quite a bit...all the time at work seemingly filling up my life, becoming my life and taking it over for all intents and purposes. And despite being a submissive and sexual sissy I have this kind of macho thing where I bottle up all of these problems and dark feelings so as not to let them affect those I love. Mistress has plenty on her own plate without me adding to them: its better to just be stoic about it.

But there's only so much pressure one can take, and a couple of days ago some of the cracks began to show. I opened up to Mistress about all of what I was feeling, the insecurities and worries, the feelings of disconnect and isolation. We spent some time cuddling and making the pain go away, reconnecting with each other.

And then the next night, after another 10 hour workday she decided to reteach me what my real life is--that is, being her feminized sissy slave. Reality, not fantasy.

It wasn't elaborate...I wasn't made up or dressed in anything really exciting (like the photo above, taken from our video "Tia Transformed & Taken"). Just a sissy-ish baby blue tshirt and matching thong.

I wasn't feeling particularly pretty either...I'm all hairy now, there really hasn't been much in the way of time over the past three months for shaving or much in the way of feminine maintenance. But the exterior stuff....didn't seem to matter. Once Mistress put on her strap-on and made me suck it, and beg for it, and be fucked with it deep and hard and powerful, her taking me roughly and grabbing my hair and holding me by the throat, or pinning my hands behind my back as she fucked me and made me admit to how much I loved her cock, how much I wanted nothing more in life than to service her cock and anyone else she chooses as her sissy whore...I melted beneath her, feeling her body shudder with pleasure as she had several orgasms from fucking me...I felt my body open up with total sissy whorish abandon, wanting it more and more....my cockette totally frustrated & ignored but being in total acceptance of that, and surrender to it.

Wanting her to use me as her girl now and forever.

So hot. So frustrated right now writing this, still in the same panties, feeling my legs and ass muscles ache and clench and want to be taken all over again...

Yes. I'm feeling much better now.

Thank you Mistress, for putting me in my place and making me see once again that this is my real life, my life as your slave, and it is oh so sweet.

Playtime

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 15:49:21 -0600

Some pics I took of Tia the other night as I had my way with him...

I'd plied him with wine and crossdressing and ordered him to put some of his favorite music on before pushing him down on the bed & climbing on top of him. First I bound his wrists...then his ankles...then blindfolded him..then came the collar, and the lipstick...

I guess it shouldn't surprise anyone to hear that my intoxicated slave accidentally orgasmed without my permission. :p

He slurped it down of course, as per my standing orders. And I can't say I'm really sorry, since now I get to look forward to punishing him for the transgression. What do you think folks - a severe beating, or some extended time in chastity? Right now I'm leaning toward a chastity punishment; say 3 months, that's a nice round number. And I'm a merciful Mistress. I'm willing to let him shave 12 hours off his 'sentence' for every one hour he spends with a buttplug in his ass. *evilgrin*

The Punishment Collar

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 17:25:20 -0600

So we fought again. And I do NOT want to talk about the fight. But this one's produced a couple of new ideas for ways of dealing with these issues in the future that I thought were worth sharing.

One of those ideas is the punishment collar. Tia values his collar very highly, it's the equivalent of a wedding ring and - in his mind - any suggestion that I might remove it from his neck is tantamount to asking for a divorce. And this just flips the panic switch in his head, severely hindering his ability to respond rationally afterward.

It isn't that I want to take his collar away. But sometimes, as the Person In Charge, I NEED to be able to clearly communicate that his behavior is not acceptable to me. I need to be able to "ground" him (so to speak), to have some way of enforcing the point that I make the rules and if he's not following them to my satisfaction then he actually loses something.

In the discussion/aftermath of this latest quarrel it occurred to me - why not get him a second collar, a "punishment" collar to wear when he's REALLY pissed me off? It could even be something a little humiliating, something the pushes the boundaries of what I'd ordinarily ask him to wear. Something that makes him feel silly and humbled and might even provoke embarrassing questions from his coworkers. That way he neverever has to be "uncollared"...but I still am able to clearly impress on him, in a way that matters, that he's on my shit list until he mends his ways.

You might say the punishment collar is a way to communicate (without excessive anger & negativity) that this infraction is something he needs to take seriously. The other tactic we came up with this time is more a way to signal that an issue is a matter of dominance and submission, related to our roles as Mistress and owned slave.

Part of the problem we keep having is that this IS a real 24/7 Mistress-slave relationship. We both agree this means I'm in charge, I make the rules, and I have the final say in everything. But as a practical matter there are huge swathes of life where I can't actually be in direct control of Tia's actions. I sleep over often but we don't actually live together, so he's on his own a lot too. He has his vanilla job responsibilities and commitments to other people. And yes, sometimes that stuff gets in the way of his service to me.

It can be difficult for both of us, especially when the vanilla and D/s parts of our lives are so intermingled. And honestly, from my perspective even trying to keep them separate kind of misses the point: the fact that the "vanilla" and the "kink" are so thoroughly intermingled is what MAKES this real, 24/7 slavery. But still, there are times when I can see that my dissatisfaction has to do with protocol, me feeling like I'm not being treated with the ass-kissing deference that is my mistressly due.

Our agreement is that henceforth I will give a clear signal that this is a D/s matter (such as, for instance, making him kneel and kiss my feet) BEFORE airing whatever grievance I have. The hope is that this will enable him to get into a more obedient, submissive mindset and avoid triggering the kind of rebellious defensiveness that gets my goat up.

It's actually been several weeks since the fight that spawned this post. I've not found a 'punishment collar' yet but I've used the D/s signal tactic several times and I feel like things are better. Like I'm a happier *MISTRESS*. So..we go forth in hope.

So You're Thinking About Using a Strapon

nospam@example.com (Guest Author) — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 09:31:43 -0600

Mistress Cherie's note - Izzy and I were Adam & Eve customers for YEARS, long before the internet broadened the array of sex-toy-shops to the dizzying variety we enjoy today. So when Ms. Katie Shaw approached me asking if she could submit a guest post to this blog about her experiences with the toys she found at Adam & Eve I was happy to agree. Hope y'all enjoy her tips on choosing a strap-on!

Katie is a freelance writer who enjoys writing for many different sites and blogs.

Strap-ons are great for everyone. Lesbians can use them for g-spot stimulation and other penetrating fun. Straight men & couples can enjoy the intense pleasures of pegging and the health benefits of prostate massage. Men who have issues with erectile dysfunction can use them to revive a wilting sex life. And for people in the bdsm world strap-on play can be used for all sorts of interesting purposes. Imagine the delicious humilation of being ordered to suck Mistress's strap-on in a forced bi scene, or being "allowed" to fuck her, but only while wearing a hollowed-out dildo over your own tiny cock!

You should always talk to your partner before purchasing a strap-on as it may be very intimidating, especially if you're a man. (Of course, this may be just the response you're looking for!) Strap-on harnesses come with lots of options, which gives you more individual choice but might also make choosing a harness a little more confusing.

If you're a women using a strap-on look for options that include a clitoral stimulator on the harness or for one that has a vibrator plug option for you. This way you can both be stimulated during your strap-on play. In this case, The Vibrating Dual Harness is a great option. This harness comes with a vibrator for your partner and a vibrator plug for you that can be used either vaginally or anally. It also comes with a remote, so you can control the vibrations while you're pounding away.

Harnesses that allow for you to change out vibrators and dildos are great when you're looking for variety. The Fetish Fantasy Elite Beginners Harness is not only great for someone new to the game, it also allows for multiple sized vibrators and dildos to be inserted through the O-ring. You can also wash it easily, which is great for when things get messy!

If you're a man suffering from ED you need to find a dildo that comes with a hollow attachment, so that you can grow inside of it and get stimulated you as well. The Hollow Strap-On For Him or Her fits the bill perfectly for this. It's also a great choice for the Mistress who wants to enjoy being penetrated while keeping her slave frustrated and humiliated.

I recommend looking for harnesses that include cushioning along the straps. This will ease the tension off of the wearer's skin and make sure that both of you are comfortable. If you're looking to stimulate the wearer while they are wearing the strap-on, you should look for harnesses that wrap around the legs, instead of thong-like harnesses. This will ensure that all entrances are open for play.

So after all of this, if you're thinking about taking the plunge into strap-on play, you should head over to Adam and Eve, where you can find all of the strap-ons I listed as well as many more to choose from!

Playing 'Doctor', Femdom-style

nospam@example.com (slave tia) — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 07:58:30 -0600

Many years ago, when I was a young teenage boy, just starting to figure out my sexuality, I had my first Femdom experiences with my best friend's two sisters across town.

I think I was 13, 14 at most. Their ages were 12 and 10 I want to say? Its hard to remember. And at that age the age difference is a big thing, maybe an uncomfortable age difference tantamount to child abuse to my now-adult mind and conscience. Its why I never told this story to anyone other than Mistress until writing this.

And if that disturbs anyone, I apologize...but its naive for us to stick our heads in the sand and try to pretend that children are NOT sexually experimenting at that age. There's a reason why "Playing Doctor" and "You show me yours and I'll show you mine" are such common stories/experiences.

My "Playing Doctor" game just happened to take a more Femdom route, is all.

I'm not going to deny it, I was 'topping from the bottom' as it were. But only at the beginning. I was older, a little smarter, and honestly more than bit manipulative at that age. I happened to be alone with the two sisters, and we were playing some game or other (I forget what it was now) and I casually made the suggestion that we gamble on who was going to win the game, and the loser would be forced to do anything the winner said.

The girls liked the idea...and I made quite sure I lost the bet, much to their delight.

You win. Now...what do you want me to do?

Kiss your feet?

And with that, the idea was planted right in their minds that yes, yes they wanted this older boy to grovel before them and kiss their feet, each taking turns having me crawl to her and do so.

You're not going to have me lick your shoes clean, are you?

And that's all of the prompting it took. Both girls thrilled to the newfound power they held over me, especially the younger one, and from that point forward whenever any of us were alone together that summer I obeyed their every command. The pretense of 'losing a bet' wasn't even needed after that first time.

And the youngest sister...my god.....did she get off on humiliating me....I remember one occasion, she forcefully took my hand and led me away in private, told me to get down on my knees and said "I have a Girl Scout meeting soon. I can't go to it with dirty shoes now, can I?" and had me lick her tennis shoes all over to her satisfaction before leaving to go to that meeting, leaving me dazed and aching and humbled by the fierceness in her.

The older girl...the novelty soon wore off, although one time she did enjoy taking me down in her parents basement, ordering me to lie on my back and be dry humped to my frustration by her, while her sister had me kiss her feet and ass the entire time. She even spanked me with a broom when I wasn't obeying fast enough.

I was playing with fire that summer. I don't know how it could have ended in anything other than discovery and scandal. I was helplessly drawn to them, to ache for them, to humiliate myself before them for their entertainment and pleasure. The same look of domme-space and power that I see in my Mistress today is the same look the younger sister had so many years ago, ordering me to kiss her ass and telling her sister "He does anything I tell him to do...", so sexually charged and full of the rush of power.

Perhaps fortunately for me our Femdom games were not discovered. Fate intervened. At that same period of my life I was engaged in petty street crime with their brother, the friend who I ostensibly was over at that house to see in the first place. Since we weren't exactly criminal masterminds we were caught, our parents fined, and we weren't allowed to be friends anymore from that point on.

If that had not occurred....I don't know how much further it would have gone with the girls and me. For years afterward, until I started having real sex with my first girlfriend it was the hottest thing I had ever done in my life...my first sexual play ever, and it was as a slave, a submissive male who longed for nothing more than to be dominated and controlled by Women.

It wasn't experimenting or play-acting to me. It was an epiphany, a realization that this is who I am. This is what I was meant to be.

I wonder sometimes, if the girls remember our games that summer and if it affected them in any way. They were willing, even eager participants even it was my idea and my suggestion at first. Did it warp them, scar them for life...or empower them?

Are there two Mistresses out there right now, toying and playing and dominating men for their pleasure as adults thanks to me?

Figurative ass-kissing

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Sun, 22 Jul 2012 06:17:30 -0600

I call written worship, things like letters of adoration, "figurative ass kissing". You know, as opposed to literal ass kissing, which would be when someone's face is pressed against my ass, lavishing it with kisses and licks and...you get the picture.

I like both kinds and Tia has standing orders to send me a written thank-you at certain times. Like every time I use him sexually, whether he's allowed to cum or not. It's like the dom equivalent of maintenance spankings for me. Waking up to this in my inbox helps keep me in my happy place:

Just wanted to write and thank you for using my slutty body last night Mistress...

Oh...ohhhh it felt so good to be fucked by you, to give you an orgasm with your cock buried deep inside my slutty ass. It was so hard to not cum myself...

I cannot remember the last time I was allowed to cum even remotely close to being a 'real man'.
For the past few months I think I haven't been, and my body is being retrained to only have sex as your girl....and that thought makes me squirm and ache and shiver.

It felt so powerful last night...you grabbing my hips, my hair, taking me roughly, leaving me no doubt that I was your bitch and you are in charge.

And all I can do is sit here and ache for more today...

--your sissy

Purging Thoughts

nospam@example.com (slave tia) — Sat, 02 Jun 2012 15:05:07 -0600

Beautiful fantasy image, isnt it?

Fantasy fetish perfectly enshrined in cartoon form, a perfection that the great majority of submissive fetish crossdressers like myself will never attain.

I've been thinking lately about the act of 'purging', wherein a crossdresser goes through a stage of wanting to purge himself of all of it. Usually associated with shame at who they are, and who they want to be.

I dont have this kind of shame...embarrassment, yes. I'm deeply embarrassed by my sub cd side but I've never lost sleep over it.

I'm not ashamed of who I am.

But I regret it. I think life would have been a whole lot easier if I had stayed on the straight and narrow vanilla path. It cost me a marriage, coming up soon on 20 years since the most painful time in my life, where my own bdsm desires led me to look for relief outside of the marriage and led me to hurt someone who I loved deeply.

The desires that led me to years of searching, as all single male submissive's search. Looking for love, acceptance, a lover and a partner who wanted me as a slave, a lover, a friend. The best of both worlds.

I couldn't bring myself to go the professional dominatrix route. Such a relationship to me...based on a commercial transaction at its core, is artificial. Play acting. I'm topping from the bottom because I'm paying someone to spend time with me because normally such a person would probably never give me the time of day.

And you know what? I've come closer to that than many submissives I know. I am a lucky slave, to have a wonderful Mistress who loves me. And I love her with all of my heart, for whatever that broken part of me is worth.

But its not fantasy. Its not like hot erotica, where everything is like a nonstop porn movie and everyone looks like beautiful fashion models. We are not gifted with being counted among the 'pretty people' whose images are all over tumblr (including my own) or being so beautiful and fashionably hip at a fetish club.

And our reality these days is kicking our ass. Its a lot of tears and bitterness and financial hardship and we seem locked in a escalating downward spiral, dragging all that is good and beautiful and worth living down with it. And I dont honestly know if we will make it through this.

So I'm developing this strange love-hate relationship with everything bdsm and kink related. I'm drawn helplessly towards it, but more and more faced with the fact that my life is not and will never be like anything I want it to be.

I'm under no illusions. I know burning all of my fem things, deleting all my femdom porn is useless. This is part of who I am, god damn me.

And no amount of purging is going to change that.

Turning a Corner

nospam@example.com (Erisiana Cherie) — Mon, 07 May 2012 09:03:27 -0600

We quarreled again. And again, and again. And then he gave me a present. It was a porn movie. It occurs to me now that perhaps most women would not go all melty upon being given a porn movie, especially as a making-up-after-fighting gift. But for me, it was PERFECT.

We'd shot some video one night that had been screwed up because I forgot to turn the microphone on. He took that footage and turned it into a hilarious silent movie, complete with old-timey film effects and music. When he showed it to me I laughed my ass off the whole way through. Which I think was all he really cared about, making me laugh, but the gift was so much more too. And the more I thought about it the more perfect it was.

There are so many layers to it. On the most obvious level it reminded me of everything good about our relationship. All the laughter and silliness we've shared, the oh-so-delicious sexy play times, the way we've worked as a team. It told me like nothing else could that he wants to be my slave, that he wants just as badly as I do to get back to our "normal" life of perversion and pornmaking.

On an even deeper level it spoke to my Mistressly pride, which has been rather bruised lately. I know how many hours he spent working on it, and knowing how much actual work he would put into this gesture tells me that I can still count on him, even when it takes real effort. Beyond that he had to learn a new skill (video editing) to do it. Which tells me he's still willing to push past his boundaries, get out of his comfort zone and learn new things for me. These things are vital for the health of our Mistress/slave dynamic. I love him...adore him...and would want to be his friend and lover whether he were my 'slave' or not. But if we are to call this slavery then it has to mean something. I have to feel that he IS going to do his best to obey me, to give me what I want, no matter what I ask for. This demonstration that he's willing to work hard & learn new skills is exactly the proof my wounded heart was longing for.

There are other facets to it as well. I'll be able to use the video as the required monthly update on my clips4sale sites, so it spares me the work and worry of coming up with something myself. In this regard it's a seriously useful gift. I'll have a happy glow all month thinking of how I don't have to do that work thanks to him. And I have loved seeing his delight in not only learning something new, but in feeling like he's good at it. These past months of near-unemployment, being utterly broke and feeling unable to even help with the DIY work, have taken a toll on my pet's self-esteem. It makes my heart sing to see him sparked with gleeful optimism for a change.

I could probably go on all day about how many ways this porn-present delights me. But I have to get back to work; the long haul of turning sandpit manor into a lovely little home(cage) for my pet is not finished and the deadline is looming. But I think we've turned a corner now and for the first time in weeks I am looking toward the end with a heart full of hope instead of despair.