Oh the fantasies in my head...

Mistress has been teasing me lately about getting me a 'boyfriend'.

*BLUSH*

The following is from my slave journal written after one particularly tortuous night of being teased & denied, kept on the edge of orgasm while she humiliated me with my own fantasies and burning ache to submit and be used..

I love the thought of it not being up to me at all. Having pictures taken, then put up online for you to write a profile for and go over all applicants—who know they are communicating with you, not me. Teased and humiliated and made to feel like a piece of meat, a fucktoy. I can just see the evil delight in you as you write the flirty profile, and go through the responses while I kneel helplessly at your feet.

Then the terror/humiliation if you actually pick someone. What if you don’t tell me anything about them at all? What if it’s a total surprise? It could be anyone…maybe even that dom gay male couple on collarme I see from time to time, or a dom cd, or some lecherous tranny chaser…

All I’m told is that I am to obey them, and I am to respond not only like a girl, but enthusiastically!

And then I’m totally feminized from head to toe, wig, makeup, some slutty outfit, and taken out…no choice in the matter, feeling very much like some sort of virgin sacrifice. I could be being taken to a gay bar, where I will have to have a few drinks and be ‘wooed'. I could be taken to some private home where I’ll be put in chains and fucked.

It could be anything…but all I can do is obey you, and whoever he or she is by extension.

I can see you there with me. Cropping me if I’m not enthusiastic enough. Ordering me to respond this way or that way—like spreading my legs back to be touched, or to use my tongue for a kiss.

And even more squirmy than this hot imagined scene? The idea that it might not be an isolated incident. That I might have to do my makeup and prepare myself for this person myself in the future.

That total surrender…ohhhhh….