I don't much care to write about the negative stuff in our lives, although there is certainly plenty of it. We're all zooming into middle age, and have collected our share of dents and dings. We are, not to put too fine a point on it, dirt poor. And Izzy and I have two pre-adolescent kids to care for. That all by itself precludes our living a porn-fantasy life.
But this weekend was above and beyond normal c'est la vie.
You see, my extremely Christian sister showed up on our doorstep on January 1st, having brought her entire family (huband and 3 children) for a visit. Surprise!
Did I mention the extremely Christian part? As in prays to Jesus for driving directions, not having an xmas tree, and being against Harry Potter kind of Christian. She does not know I am a dominatrix who specializes in feminizing males, that I've made amateur porn, that I live a polyamorous lifestyle having significant sexual relationships with people other than my spouse. Even if she could, intellectually, comprehend these things I'm pretty sure she would find them morally repugnant.
I'm not the sort of person to be secretive about anything. It's difficult for me to keep from talking about my work or my kinky, lust-filled life. In the interests of family harmony therefore I have been keeping my distance from her for years. I really don't feel that longing for "sisterhood" that the stereotype of womanhood demands so this hasn't been difficult at all. It's been a simple matter of avoiding someone I have vast areas of disagreement with, who really plays no part in my life.
Like most families we've had some drama in our past. The canyon that lies between my sister and I now began as a smaller rift some years ago. And I realized this weekend that she thinks I am still angry with her for those events.
I owe it to her to tell her that I bear her no ill will for those things. I have so much more important stuff to be concerned about now - Izzy's heart condition, son's autism, even my struggling business. What would be the point in clinging to anger over things that have long since ceased to matter? But I will also be telling her WHY I maintain this distance between us. (Part of it anyway...enough to illustrate the vastness of the gulf between us, and not enough for her to actually FIND any of my websites. I hope. :-p)
Just have to wait and see if the revelation starts a whole new family conflict.
Monday, January 4. 2010
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